The Game We Play (It's not your fault)
by The-Lady-Layla
Summary: After finally finding Bucky, Steve convinces him to go to therapy to get help. After a few months Bucky asks Steve if he goes to therapy too and Steve, with Darcy's help, explains how he copes with his own guilt. They don't have James Barnes listed in the character drop down but he's obviously in this. Rated M for a threesome and a BDSM scene


**Author Note:** This is the first fic I'm posting for The Avengers and the WinterShieldShock fandom although I'm actually working on a much longer fic right now. This idea came to me last night before bed and I wrote it as soon as I got up this morning. It's un-betaed so any mistakes are mine. Just a warning it's not really filled with dialogue but I think it works out. I hope you guys like it and feedback would be great :) I've also posted this over on Ao3

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It took Steve Rogers six months of being constantly on the move, using any and every lead he and Sam could get, to finally, finally find Bucky. He'd been surprised to find his friend camping out in an old warehouse.

They hadn't even been serious about looking here because the information was a month old.

It took six months of living with Steve in the new Avengers tower for Bucky to start talking. He wouldn't talk to everyone, just a select few people.

Another three months went by before Steve, Sam, and Natasha could convince him to see the shrink Barton had gone too after Loki. He'd been vetted by JARVIS, Tony, Pepper, Steve, and Natasha but Bucky waited another three weeks, doing his own surveillance, before he actually made an appointment.

They had security measures put in place just in case he had a bad flashback and couldn't control himself.

Four months of going to therapy and talking seemed to be helping. Steve was relieved to find Bucky smiling more, willing to talk about the past without shutting down.

Bucky wouldn't tell Steve, could never tell Steve, but he even had a crush on a dame…a woman. Steve's woman.

Darcy Lewis.

She was curvy, with long wavy brown hair, she was loud and obnoxious and always in his space. She didn't skirt around the issues, but wasn't afraid to get in his space, hold his hand, give him a hug.

She said she wasn't scared of the Winter Soldier. It amazed Bucky, she amazed him. He could sit and watch her working in the labs for hours as she compiled data, tinkered with machines, and bossed the other scientists around.

He liked to watch her bully them into eating, taking breaks, and sleeping. It reminded him of watching a tornado sweep through. She was constant motion and energy and Bucky Barnes loved every second of watching her go.

"Stevie?"

"Yeah Buck?"

After living with Steve for almost a year and a half Bucky found himself a little nervous with what he was going to ask.

"Do you…do you go to a head shrinker too? To talk about stuff?"

Steve looked up from his sketch pad at his friend, his best friend. Silence settled around them for a little while, enough that Bucky was really regretting asking at all.

Finally, Steve answered, "No. No I don't go see a doctor Bucky. I know I should but…I do something a little different."

Steve hesitated…he wasn't sure how to keep going, how to explain. His fingers itched to grab his phone and text Darcy so she could help him out.

His face must've looked some kinda way because Bucky straightened up on the couch so he was towering over his friend, "Steven Grant you're not doing anything stupid and dangerous are you? I'll kick your ass into next week if I find out you're jumping out of goddamn airplanes without a fucking chute again."

Steve relaxed a fraction and he could feel a shiver race up his spine from the tone of voice Bucky was using. He cleared his throat, "It's nothing like that Buck, I uhh, can we just invite Darcy over for dinner? I'm really bad at explaining things and she knows how to say it right."

Bucky thought about it for a second and nodded. Gulping in relief Steve shot off a text to Darcy who agreed to come over and explain after dinner.

He kicked Steve out of the kitchen so he could make his Ma's best spaghetti and French bread. Sometimes, he was still amazed at not having food rations and not needing to get up early and stand in line for the good stuff.

Darcy showed up at 6 with a bottle of wine. Neither of the men could get drunk very easily (unless Thor brought in the mead) but they enjoyed the flavors of alcohol now.

As they ate dinner, Darcy commanded the conversation, talking about her day in the labs, telling funny stories, asking them questions. Bucky couldn't help staring at her from across the table. It seemed like everything fell into place whenever she was around.

Steve noticed Bucky staring at Darcy; he knew his best friend had a thing for his girl. He and Darcy had talked about it…at length…on several occasions.

She'd explained the concept of being polyamorous and how it differed from polygamy. How they could be in a monogamous poly relationship if that was something they all wanted. She spent a long time making sure he understood that what he wanted wasn't a continuous threesome but an actual functioning relationship.

He remembered how blunt Darcy had been in the beginning. He hadn't known half of what she was talking about but boy did they ever talk. It took him ages to be able to have a sex related discussion without blushing about everything. Not that he was prudish, or a virgin, he just wasn't used to such open discussion.

With Darcy he'd learned quickly to get used to it because it was going to be a part of their relationship always. Darcy refused to be in a relationship where someone couldn't tell the other person how they felt about anything.

"Steve!"

His head jerked up and from the bemused expression on Darcy's face she'd been trying to get his attention for a while.

"I was just telling Bucky that I think we should move into the living room for our talk."

Steve nodded, sprang up, and pulled her chair out. Darcy made a face at him and led them all into the living room.

Bucky sat in the chair near the window, a slightly stunned look on his face. It had taken them almost two hours to explain the dynamics of their relationship to him.

Darcy had patiently explained how everything worked, answered every question he had and a few he couldn't say out loud.

They'd let him process for a little while before Darcy had asked if he wanted to join them. She'd rehashed her discussion about poly relationships with him, interspersed with commentary by Steve. They let him know in no uncertain terms that they wanted him in both sexual and non-sexual manners.

"Why don't you take a little while to uh think about it Buck?" The expression on Steve's face showed plainly he thought they'd pushed Bucky too far.

"By all means. Steve you can come crash at my place tonight and we'll—"

"No!" Bucky hadn't meant to shout but he didn't want them to go. He wanted this, he wanted this so badly. He'd been in love with Steve for as long as he could remember and he could tell it wouldn't be hard at all to fall for Darcy.

"Yes, yes I want to be with you. With both of you." He said finally.

Steve looked like he'd been hit by a ton of bricks.

Darcy looked incredibly smug and pleased with herself.

After a moment Steve started to stand, he wanted to grab Bucky and kiss him until neither of them could breathe but Darcy made a sound, which was similar to a noise you'd make scolding an animal for climbing on the furniture.

Steve froze instantly and looked back at her.

"Steven please go get the book."

He nodded and went into his room to fetch a small leather bound notebook. When he returned Darcy took it from him and opened it to show Bucky. A good quarter of it was filled.

"We update this book pretty regularly. On the top of each page is one partner's name. Then, the lists: Acceptable, Soft Limit, Hard Limit."

Darcy had explained these terms before and with the notebook she showed him how each list changed. Some things were moved from the Soft Limits (the maybe category) to the Hard Limits (permanently no) or to Acceptable. She told him he'd get his own pages and his own lists.

The three of them talked well into the night, with Darcy opening up her laptop to give examples or show pictures making sure everything was understood and talked about. Bucky was asked if he only wanted to cover the basics but he'd insisted on learning as much as they were willing to tell.

Darcy smiled approvingly at him and he sat up a little straighter.

This wasn't a lifestyle situation, he was informed, just situational and as wanted/as needed but that didn't mean they wouldn't talk about everything.

When Bucky asked she'd told him she had been in and out of BDSM communities for the last 5 years so she'd had the chance to observe, experience, and learn from the people who considered themselves professionals and experts, but that you could never stop learning.

Finally, finally they were done talking. It was late and everyone was tired but they fell asleep together in Steve's huge bed and it was the best night sleep Bucky had had in weeks.

It was late when Steve got home from his mission. This stupid, stupid mission. He was angry, with himself, with his team, with everything. Right now, he was tired of being Captain Goddamn America.

Natasha had insisted on a debrief afterwards, but he'd snarled at her. Telling her they had all been there, that this wasn't S.H.I.E.L.D and they didn't need a team meeting after every mission.

Things hadn't gone this wrong in a while and Steve was pissed off and upset.

And sad. Steve was fucking devastated at what had happened and didn't want to talk to anyone.

He took the silent elevator up to their apartment and opened the door. The stove light was on for him (Darcy) and he spotted a clean towel and a pair of boxers in the bathroom (Bucky). He spent an hour getting clean in the shower; water as hot as he could stand, before finally going into the bedroom.

Darcy and Bucky were curled up together under the covers sound asleep. She was lying on her stomach with a leg tossed over Bucky's stomach and he gripped that leg with his metal arm.

Sighing, Steve grabbed a blanket from the closet and curled up into a tight ball at the foot of the bed. He didn't think he'd be able to sleep with his mind racing as it was but he'd only been lying down for five minutes before he drifted off.

When Steve woke up he blanched in a slight panic when he couldn't see. It lasted only a second before he realized it was a blindfold and he relaxed wondering what had woken him up. Then, he heard it again. Darcy moaned and the bed shook a little.

Bucky and Darcy were having sex on the bed behind him and the thought made him half hard. Listening to them made fire race up and down his spine. Bucky was saying the filthiest things to Darcy as he brought her close to the edge and Steve shifted as his cock hardened fully.

His hand slid downwards, trying to keep the motion subtle so as not to attract notice. He'd started the game last night by sleeping in his submissive position at the foot of the bed and Darcy had accepted by blindfolding him.

Short of using his safeword (Iron Man) Steve was under her control, she would take care of him and give him his orders. He wasn't supposed to be moving without permission but he couldn't help it.

He could practically see Bucky driving into Darcy hard enough to leave bruises and he ground the heel of his hand into the front of his boxers. Darcy's pitch rose as she climaxed and the bed shook more as Bucky sped up looking for his own release.

Steve slipped his hand through the slit in his boxers and palmed his cock, biting back a groan. He kept his hand at the head, jerking himself with short flicks of the wrist so he wouldn't be noticed. He was so close already and when Bucky came, growling Darcy's name, he squeezed the head of his penis and jerked once more.

He felt the bed stop moving behind him as he whimpered with his own release, come coating his hands and his boxers. Steve knew he'd been caught as his hips twitched slightly.

Darcy's voice was hard when she spoke, "Steven. I don't remember giving you permission to touch yourself."

"You didn't Ma'am." He panted slightly.

"Mmm. Steven, what happens when you break Darcy's rules?"

"I get punished, Sir."

He felt the bed shift as they stood up and came to stand in front of him. His free hand reflexively went to move the blindfold but he stopped himself.

"Why are you at the foot of the bed Steven?" Darcy asked as she pulled his sticky hand out of his boxers.

He didn't say anything for a moment, "I need to confess my sins." It wasn't often that they played this part of the game. This went beyond sex, beyond gratification, Steve needed this, needed it because he felt broken and they could fix him.

"Well…we'll let you confess to us before we discuss your punishment for touching yourself."

Steve could feel them move around the room setting up. There was a rush of love filling him so intensely that they would take care of him first before even cleaning up from sex.

After a few minutes Bucky hauled him up out of bed and tied his wrists together. He stood up a little straighter so Bucky could hang the ropes binding him on a hook in the ceiling.

Balancing on his tiptoes Steve felt something cold cover his dick and he winced slightly as Darcy put the cock cage in place and lock it.

"Are you ready to confess Steven?" She asked softly, lips against his ear.

He nodded, paused, and then told them everything. Told them how the mission had been a setup, how the team had looked to him to decide what to do, how his decision had gotten fifty people killed.

Steve told them how guilty he felt even though the only other option ended with twice as many people dead. He told them about snapping at Natasha and the other Avengers and coming home to them.

It was silent for a while and Steve could picture Darcy and Bucky exchanging looks, mouthing things at each other, looking at him with pity.

"I think 10 lashes should be enough," Darcy spoke, still close to his ear, "What do you think love?"

Steve hesitated only briefly before nodding.

"Are you ready to count for us Steven?" Bucky's voice came from behind him, calm and smooth.

"Yes, Sir."

The first sting of the flogger was harsh and swung Steve forward a little bit. When it had just been he and Darcy, he would have to kneel on the floor and she could never put the amount of power into the swing that he wanted. Bucky often drew blood with his punishments and it made Steve feel enormously better since they'd heal soon anyway.

"One."

Bucky swung the flogger again; hitting Steve's other side propelling him forward a little more.

"Two."

The third hit was the first draw of blood and Steve could practically feel his guilt flowing away.

"Three."

He started to cry on the next hit and Darcy was there soothing him, reminding him to count out loud and telling him he did his best. "It's not your fault." She cooed at him as he sobbed out,

"Four."

By the time they got to ten his back was sore, bleeding in some spots, and his arms were starting to get stiff. He hissed as Darcy brought a warm cloth over and washed his back off.

When she was done Bucky gripped his hips and lifted him up so he could remove the rope from the hook and set Steve firmly on the floor. Only for a second before his friend swept him up bridal style and carried him into the living room.

They settled him on the couch so his back wasn't touching anything and Darcy moved into his lap stroking his face and hair.

"Do you understand now? Do you know it's not your fault? You did the best you could on that mission and it was the lesser of two evils." She cradled him as he cried a little more and when he finally trailed off she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Better?"

When he nodded hands came close and removed the blindfold. He blinked owlishly at the sudden light and focused his eyes.

Darcy was snuggled up to him her legs stretched out into Bucky's lap who was grinning at him. "Feeling better, Punk?"

"Yeah, I am…Jerk."

They spent the next hour fussing over him, making sure to rub lotion on the quickly fading welts on his back, telling him how good he was for accepting his flogging, for telling them that he'd needed one.

When the hour was up Darcy gave him a look that sent heat pooling in his belly and he realized they'd never taken a shower after sex and his boxers were hard with his own dried come.

"Steven." He glanced behind him to Bucky who was smirking, eyes dark with lust.

"Now I think it's time to discuss your punishment from breaking the rules this morning. Since you obviously had a tough day yesterday and this morning was intense we'll let you skate with a lighter punishment." Darcy said as she ran her fingers up his side causing him to shiver.

"You have to wear the cage all day, even in the debriefing you wouldn't do last night." Bucky said leaning forward to capture Steve's lips with his own.

"Bucky, love, I do believe little Stevie is still dirty from this morning. Maybe you should help him out."

With a devilish grin Bucky slid his boxers down and took Steve in his mouth, cage and all.

"And," Darcy whispered as she flicked her tongue out against the shell of his ear, "You can't come today. At all."

Steve was already as hard as he could get inside the cock cage from Bucky's licking and he groaned loudly at this decree.

"Yes Ma'am."


End file.
